Ladies listen up: THERE ARE GOOD MEN OUT THERE!

Several years ago I decided to work with a life coach to help me in the one area of my life that really wasn’t working at the time: relationships. Never having worked with a life coach before I wasn’t sure what to expect. My coach started me out with a simple theory, assuming there are about 4 million people living in the U.S. and we can guess that half of them are male, out of the 2 million available men (theoretically) it shouldn’t be that difficult to find one. He taught me positive affirmations to use and encourage me to use the internet to make new friends.

Not being an EHarmony type of girl, I followed his suggestions and posted a profile on JDate, not that I’m Jewish but I figured that would be a safe place to start and with the screen name of “SexyShiksa” I was off into the world of internet dating.

I did well for a gentile and met a few very nice men some I’m still friends with, but there was one special Jewie in London where there seemed to be a real connection. Mr. London moved to Africa for work and a short time later ran into all sorts of drama, apparently was ambushed and rushed to the hospital. I suffered with the news but also started thinking something wasn’t right. Then I received a call from a supposed doctor asking for money to cover the cost of the operation Mr. London needed in order to save his life. Aha, can you say scammer? Well I did, never sent a dime and ended that association immediately.

Fast forward 2 years later when I receive an IM from guess whom? Mr. London!

Not believing any stories now yet we still got to talk. Turns out that his story was true- you can see a difference in the photos that he’d been through something intense. I’m not a grudge holder nor am I interested in dating him now and so we agreed to be friends, but not before hearing how hurt he was by my calling him a scammer and my explaining what was I suppose to think and he saying it had taken him 2 years to get over me. As I listened, I thought “oh, whatever” and also “yada, yada, yada” but actually for a “pseudo-scammer” he did remember many details about me and my life, hhhmmm. The following day I found a huge box on my desk at work with a big teddy bear and chocolates inside and a note saying “I’m sorry.” A surprise action I never would have expected from someone who I never met, who I abandoned in a time of need, who I insulted greatly and well basically cut out of my life.

Some people who have heard the story still find it fishy and they may be right but for right now, for me, that teddy bear signifies an exchange of energy from the past that today opens the door to having a possible friend or at least knowing that a guy, who I thought wasn't a good guy, turned out to be this guy. And he’s not the only one.

I know lots of “good guys” I mean really good people, they are out there ladies, it just takes looking with an open heart and mind.

If you work on yourself to be that good person, the universe, through the law of attraction, will bring them (back) to you.

“She’s just a little corporately challenged”

Like a fish out of water or the thinking salmon’s forever unfulfilled wish to just “go with the flow….”

Marie Antoinette walked softly to her death, did she not? I ask, I wasn’t there, obviously, but maybe someone else might know. I would imagine so since her world was created for her, around her, as she so desired, everything and anything her whole life, what else would she know? Sometimes its good to be Queen of France sometimes not so much. I would imagine the innocence of her life’s intentions provided her with the courage to take those final steps to a most certain death, no?

I’m not walking the path to getting my head chopped off, nor am I going to allow a non-functioning, bush league corporation kill my spirit, my creativity or me. But I am looking at career like death and renaissance approaching and just like my friend Marie I am tenderly walking that path with my head held high and the exception that I will move on to bigger and better, maybe like Marie did?
There is a new time upon us, its a time for ACTION to do what we were put here to do. Think you have a lot a time left, think again and take notice of what's really happening in the world today, can you remember a time with so many natural disasters happening one after another? I can't. Come out of your box and DO what makes you happy, you'll have a great answer to "what did you do with your life that was worthwhile?" when you reach the pearly gates.

For 3 months I had the opportunity to ask myself every morning while I was not rushing to get the j.o.b. one of the toughest questions I have ever faced:

What can I do today that will make me happy?

Why is such a simple question so difficult to answer? Maybe because we have lost ourselves in the make believe worlds of corporations and careers with large organizations that have us so trained to follow we might as well be cattle on the slow moving line to the slaughter house a.k.a. a promotion, bonus, recognition for job well done? How can LIFE, FULFILLMENT, PURPOSE fit in with that crowd?

What happened to the American spirit? The one were you can do anything? I believe the “can do” message was missed in another useless, endless staff meeting, or its on a memo somewhere on the bottom of that stack of papers on your desk you no longer see it’s been there so long. Or its been lost along with the trust we had in our corporations, banks and such.

I started writing this blog once I realized the corporate way was not for me at least not in this one; which runs on third-world country mentality and blatant harassment both sexual and mental, but it’s okay that’s the way they “coach” their employees. God Bless America where there exist laws to protect hard working citizens. Lawyers take note there’s a building in this city with a shit load of discrimination, sexual harassment cases waiting to be tried, unfortunately for those suffering from these situations mostly been subjected to so many scared tactics and threats they have lost their voice in fear of retaliation or lost of income or they just aren’t aware of the rights they now have working in this country. I have a voice and I will use it. For some reason I was the first in my family to be born in this country, I never really understood why until now…

I’m from New Yawk, I know my rights, so don’t fuck with me

WHAT TO DO IN CASE YOU GET SHOVED:

The universe, I was recently told, sometimes makes things happen in a way that we find ourselves being propelled forward, an unknown force pushes us to move forward, you have only in that direction to go. the unknown can come in the form of anything, i.e. break-up, firing,..and  I believe it. Last Thursday on my lunch break, my little red convertible suffered pain, trauma and visibly much more damage than the  large white SUV with only a tiny red scratch on the front bummer and a woman driver, obviously also on her lunch break, who’s only statement to me as she approached my car my was, “Why didn’t you go!” and turned to a friend and said “can you believe this? She stopped…
”Um, yeah there was a car coming, I was protecting ME lady, and no, it's not okay that I’m not hurt and you didn't even care if I was or not"…was what I was saying, on the inside, instead I rolled the window up and thanked God for dark tints.

A good friend gives the example of just how polite the English are in general as a culture. They are capable of being so polite a foot stepping situation might go like this:

“Excuse me? I hope I am not troubling you too much but it seems as if my foot some how got stuck underneath your foot. I do say, would you mind greatly if I asked if I might trouble you in allowing me remove my foot from under yours?” That white SUV Lady obvious wasn’t English.

Bless each day for the health we have. If you are ill, bless each day for the health you DO have. Bless each day for our children’s health.....

The discomfort is there, tolerable and also much less tolerable at times. What can I do? Follow the suggestions of my doctor, succumb to the medical process of x-rays, physical therapy and such? Well, I do have pain so yes, I will obey. What hurts the most is called the ego’s bragging rights to say I did yoga for 40 days straight I stuck to it created a discipline like that instead I was stopped due to the rear-ending at day 31. Or was I shoved forward? 

Time to  start over DAY 1, and it’s all good help me heal quicker and keep my focused on the action and not the outcome or final goal per say, this stays on the to do list because it is healthy and good for this body which I will now pay better attention to, slowly but playfully – the cycle runs on sunshine and smiles, basically in a nutshell, it really does.

Treat yourself well, every day, always.

I have a new friend who also comes to me regularly for Reiki healings. I love to see the smile on his face when he leaves after an hour because his smile shows he's feeling better and also because he has no idea of how much he has helped me heal. People come into our lives for reasons, we’ve picked which ones we have choose to learn from and in this case I’ll say it was all because of the B’klyn connection that he and I share.  So, I get to laugh a lot and hear the accent of my childhood I no longer “tawlk like that” but it’s some how comforting to hear again. Plus it’s the shoe-tying/Jewish/NY theme that runs through my life that I figured out watching how he puts and ties his laces- total running time about 6-10 min depending on the day. How ever long he demandingly takes to do it on his own is an opportunity to stop and be grateful for my healthy legs and the comforts we take for granted while someone else struggles and for his friendship for allowing me feel compassion.
OR, Maybe..... I’m meant to be like the next Christian Louboutin but with a purpose…simplify life's design create the new life style slip-on shoe! NY’ers LOVE them and Paris tolerates them…WOW “Hhhmmm, Bonjour Monsieur Louboutin, bonjour Monsieur, je suis Amerianne, J’dore Paris, comfort, style, your brand and the idea of luxury for all...imagine the world wide impact? call me, s.v.p., we should tawlk, eh oui?”  

Do you know what’s really happening?

Do you? Between oil spills and earthquakes, cosmic and earth plates moving, divorce and depression.

Do you have faith? Can you draw strength from somewhere deep inside when “it” comes? The Cosmic Cross, the summer solstice, what’s really happening? This event is just one example of many of what the universe is sending us.

And how are you going to deal with it? Are you prepared? Where are we in this great matrix of life…. it’s like, “Yo, what’s the plan, man?”

Don’t believe me look around; feel a shift, any changes, lately? They have been happening for several years now and continue now, only at a much greater pace. The time to contemplate what, who, where we are in this life is ovah, people.

It’s action time. Whether in a group or alone, now it the time to come together and, to quote Jim Morrison….

Break on through to the other side,

Break on through to the other side….

Challenges, tests and gut wrenching memories are all things we will have to deal with, let go of in order to survive. I’m not saying death per say, but there are a large number of people on this planet who’s spirit/soul/beings are already dead – I’m not talking about them, unless you can be the light for them to see, fantastic! Be an example live everyday as if what you do would be front-page news, good news about us “this is ain’t no TMZ here.”

Although, I would love to hear the comments from the TMZ peanuts gang- would Harv write my name down on the Plexiglas board? Would the hot blonde kid think I’m hot? How would the women on that show react? The news should already be good period, even bad news brings a positive spin is you look for it. The sensationalism that is omnipresent in every media source out there is only partially to blame, no one told anyone you HAVE to watch, participate, or perpetuate the negativity of the situation. Again, “put your hands up in the air, put your the air- JS The Situation style. I once heard an old man say, “ look forward to the positive and leave the negative behind”

And what are we putting into our bodies? Don’t get me wrong, to know me, is to know that I can easily be the Swedish Fish Queen. But what’s happening in this country with proceed foods and Mad Cow Disease? Every little step you can take to go natural, fresh high quality food is a step towards moving in the right direction we want to be in when “it” happens. And it’s gonna happen, for real…

Peace

Publix where universal wisdom is free

Six months ago I moved to the northern part of Miami, close to the water, lots of high rises a.k.a. apartment buildings, snowbirds of several nationalities and lots of Jews. I love living here; at times it brings me back to memories of growing up in the then mostly Jewish section of Brooklyn around Ocean Ave. and Kingshigh Way. What I don’t like about where I live is: of the many choices of food shopping outlets I may have located conveniently around me, the one I like to visit when I HAVE to visit, because I loath going food shopping or as its better known at our house “having to go to the stupidmarket” is not so close by, so, I take a drive…

The stupidmarket I enjoy visiting is large and has many long aisle of ethnic foods from many different cultures, so the shoppers are also very mixed and it is that mix of people and cultures which reminds me of Walbaum’s the stupidmarket I was often sent to go buy stuff at as a chore as a kid in Brooklyn. Know anyone who sends their kid run and buy anything on their own these days? Me either. Plus this location carries bacon, yes, bacon real bacon because the locations around me (and the shules) do not.

The other afternoon as I waiting on the check out line trying to read as many articles off the trashy magazine rack without having to pay for any, a funny thing happened.

The rather large older Jewish man (tell you how I could tell he was Jewish later) was talking with the bag boy in the checkout next to mine. The young boy never once made eye contact with the man giving specific instructions on how he wanted his groceries pack (this is how I knew he was Jewish). I’m sure for the older man this was a natural way to bring attention to himself and satisfy his need to have things his way and to the bag boy he was probably just another P.I.T.A. customer. For me, it was like a short film being played out in front of me. And just as you could see the relief of the young bag boy for having come to the end of bagging this man’s purchase, the old guy stopped and said out loud,

“Always look forward to the positive and always leave the negative behind you”

If I told you how many times I have repeated the old guys words of wisdom since you wouldn’t believe me. Those words were meant for me too and I am grateful for having been in the “now” even while in line at Publix to pick up some wisdom. Maybe it’s not such a stupidmarket after all.

Let the children play

Shhh, here’s a little secret, if you take it all in stride as if we are playing even in the densest of environments you can make it through. A smile is primary, period. A smile is magical; often I have said you never know what smiling at a stranger can do in a positive way to that person. Doesn’t matter if the smile is returned or not or even seen I love the idea of smiling to myself, for myself. Making people wonder what I’m up to that has a smile on my face. A smile is contagious. Try it.

It’s the child inside which has now discovered the professional side of me and is allowing me to view “that life” with child like eyes and a smile which has turned this period of living in the denseness of the dying corporate system into a game.

Let’s play!

“oh, what was announced to be available isn’t, no problem”

“just realized been left out of the oh so important email loop”

“world cup”

“world cup”

“world cup”

It's hide and seek office style- how fun! Why pretend to be able to get things done in a professional manner when you work with monkeys? Learn to work with the madness but with a calm smile, eventually it will be resolved and you’ll still be smiling. And you don’t have to carry a goofy, stupid, big, toothy smile it can be a little on the Mona Lisa side and keep the mystery alive.

The playing also includes dressing like a girl, shirts, heels, ponytails and cleavage it’s fun to flaunt what ever it is you got especially at the office, strut around you’re happy and not miserable and the smile is the proof. I call it this the “head fake” it’s a way of demonstrating how you reside way above the dirty office system of rumors and politics you are all subjected to live in at the office.

The second key is to have a life outside of the office. One that fills you with joy, peace, generates senses of fulfillment, social responsibility and is fun.

When I had time off from this place everything that I choose to do was preceded by this question: Will this make me happy? Everything that I did which followed that question resulted to be fruitful in some form or other it wasn’t a waste of time or it turn out to be a huge deal without any drama because things unfolded so easily it was as if the path was being created before me and the easy with which things came together you just knew it was meant to be.

Lesson learned: we are meant to be happy in our work, in our lives and with ourselves.

The third key point is to look good. Get in shape treat your body like the temple it is other will notice admire and be jealous and let them! Physical improvements derived by good eating and consistent exercise habits will also improve your self esteem and guess what other secret I learned the better you look the better the men who hit on you look as well. Woo hoo! Those smiles work!

Where are Steve Carell and Ricky Gervais when you need them?

The search for my life’s path/passion brought me back to “The Office” except Steve Carell nor Ricky Gervais weren't there and neither should I. My time away had come to an end and in order to continue to eat and support a roof over my head I was forced to return to “The Office”.  Although some have said to me I should have never gone back, there is a part of me that says, “I’m not a quitter”, “I don’t run away from conflict”, and I’m certainly not going to let the big bad corporate bullies push me out, not yet. Fire me if your brave enough but they are not and that’s why I’m back. Besides have a long list of attorneys waiting to take my case. 

I don’t want to fight like that but working in this country allows me certain rights, which I stand by and will fight for justice. In the meantime, Mr. cubical number 280D you can kiss my phuckin ass. Oh that felt good. The policies and office shenanigans stop being fun when you find yourself stuck working in a hostile environment.

Oh how I wish to feel the sun on my face instead of the florescent lighting that does noting for your complexion

Bosses, VP’s, managers, and assistance managers take notice on how your department treats you when you are not around. The hushes that can be heard if you get the chance to stick you head out of your butts

Why is it that the suits are always so dumb? Do you think I’m just slightly frustrated? Ya think?

My time away from the office gave me an opportunity to open my eyes, my heart and get moving on projects that truly interest me that brought me pleasure and fulfillment minus the ungrateful boss.

Lesson learned?

Stick to the things you enjoy doing, seek new ways to reinvent yourself, ask how you can serve and become the greatest new job seeker the jobs are out there we just have go for what makes us happy and learn to….

Roll with the punches!

I'm still at it

Day 16 and I’m feeling so incredibly great I have stuck to coming every day to the Kava Bar not a very difficult commitment to keep since I’m hear most nights BUT now I’m doing yoga for an hour and a half of the 897897354 hours I spend here any way.

The time spent sweating is slowly showing and the best was when I open the door for my daughters and one said “wow, mom you look skinny” and the other agreed remarks such as those coming form these two is a “big deal” so I took it as a huge compliment to my accomplishment of coming every night to do the class.  See that’s the only true goal I set out for myself when I took this on.

Commit to 40 continuous days of doing yoga, period.

The funny thing was the whole activity is such a no brainer I’m here all the time. And even so on that second day when some of my muscles introduced themselves to the rest of my body, ouch and sweet at the same time. That naughty side of my brain said, “oh ouch let’s not go tonight” and the less-naughty side of my brain said, “but it’s at the Kava Bar where else will we do?”

Yeah that’s how intensely non dedicated my commitments to get fit and work out actually are I’m just being honest with myself I sometimes like it start of big but never follow through. (i.e. stay fat/not fit)

The work is showing, even by not focusing in on it nor do I want to become one of those OCD Mirror Looker “fit person” The mantras are new, okay with that, the mudras are new, okay with that as well.The instructor has a unique style allowing me to practice other forms of yoga (lol) but overall dedicated, knowledgeable and strict. Which makes it all good I’m only here for 40 days.

In the few weeks that this routine has become my life I welcome the way my jeans feel and the “compliments” of having lost weight from people I haven’t seen in a while, but this one commitment alone has gotten me out of bed, made my day bearable, gave me something to look forward to and now the place I can release, take in, challenge, breathe, grow, and leave behind the "life part" of our lifes' and our lives  could be so much happier. Yoga has really filled those voids at different times. I feel healthy, heartfelt with love and compassion for everything I do and everyone I deal with and just try to stick to that throughout my day and always knowing I have my yoga class to go to later and all will be well. And so the day seems so great no matter what....